John Smith, it must be said, is less impressive in the flesh than you would probably imagine. A fey countenance combined unattractively with an irrational intolerance are his first lines of defence in his continuing epic struggle with humanity.

When not indulging in his kink persuasions he spends his time attempting to earn a living traveling the Globe in search of foreigners unwise enough to pay money for his consulting acumen. He can most often be spotted at airports, gazing fretfully for signs to the business class lounge, whilst making legion efforts to avoid eye contact with anyone at all. Further clues as to his identity are a weary disposition together with a feigned genial diffidence, both of which unexpectedly disguise a direct manner that few airline staff are prepared to tolerate.

He is also recognizable by the lack of an endearing smile or a disarming candor. Easily startled, he should be approached only with great caution. The current advice concerning a conversation opener are a) the soothing offer of an immediate upgrade to first class or b) at the very least, fine cuisine. John, to his immense dismay and horror, is nudging his half-century and currently lives with an enforced and uneasy tranquility somewhere in Manhattan.

Your Boyfriend and Other Guys I've Kissed: The Tails of Totally Tyler
by Totally Tyler
Price: $17.95
Paperback: 189 pages
ISBN: 978-1-61098-218-4

 In the tradition of David Sedaris and Carrie Bradshaw, party boy blogger Totally Tyler hilariously navigates his way through the gay Atlanta dating scene - one lemon drop martini at a time. Sometimes humorous, sometimes heartbreaking, always poignant, Totally Tyler weaves triumphant and tragic tales of tail.
     In this, his first collection of stories, Totally Tyler explores why they call it the Dirty South by dishing on the ones who got away, the ones who should’ve stayed away and why the Queen of the Queens (Madonna, of course) rules his world. Pour a cocktail, pull up a seat and buckle up - these bedtime stories promise to be bumpy rides.